When we heard about Kuching’s Cat Museum the other day, our first thought was, we’re going to Malaysia! We hope they have a Courtyard Marriott! But then we realized that it’s a museum filled with cat stuff, and not a museum for cats. We want a museum for cats, basically. You know, where cats go to look at stuff. How hard could it be? People make catios. It could be like that, only more like the Louvre. Here’s how they could fill it.
Inaugural exhibits at the first-ever museum for cats (to be opened in the fall, once someone gets a Kickstarter going)
In the Grande Entrance Hall:
- “Gilded Cat Poop From Antiquity”
- “A New World: Glorious Cat Poop From the Renaissance”
- “Petrified Cat Poop From the Pre-Columbian Era”
- “What the F**K Is That?! Abstract Cat Poop From the ’50s”
- “Pop Art Cat Poop: The Legacy of Jeff Koons”
- “Cubism and Cat Poop: The Genius of Raoul, Spain’s Iron-Deficient Master”
In the Main Hall:
- “Collar Fashions in the 1980s: The Great Upheaval”
- “The Velvet Revolution: Clawed Chairs of the ’60s and ’70s”
- “Comfortable Couches of the late 20th Century, Presented by IKEA” (interactive)
- “Great Sunbeams Throughout History”
- “Warm Laps” (interactive; laps courtesy of volunteers from the senior center)
- “Blankets, Ranked” (interactive)
In the other Main Hall:
- “Anatomical Cross-Sections of Small Woodland Creatures”
- “Great moments in Running Water, Presented by Kohler” (interactive)
- “Birds of North America” (eat what you catch)
- “Cat Foods of the World, Presented by Purina” ($20 tasting menu)
Somewhere near the front (?):
- “Sleep Train Sleep Zones, Presented by Sleep Train” (interactive; shh)
- “FedEx Shipping Box Wednesdays, Presented by FedEx” (interactive)
- “Outsider Art: The Great Litter Mandala of 4359 Mockingbird Lane, Plano, Texas” (generously funded by the inhabitants of 4359 Mockingbird Lane, Plano, Texas)
- “Cute Kitten Sundays” (cute kittens free; all others $2)
- “You Gonna Finish That? Great Counter-Cruisers Throughout History”
Elsewhere:
- “Aretha Franklin Presents a Vocal Tribute to the Fancy Feast Cat” (1 p.m. in the Great Bowl, daily)
- “Slam Cats: Open Mic for Local Cats” (daily, constantly)
- “Katy Perry Pets a Maine Coon” (various locations, permanent collection)
- “Guns and Roses” (Oct. 15, noon)
Speaker series:
- Maru, “Boxes I Have Known,” Oct. 10, whenever he wakes up
- Grumpy Cat, “Any Fool Can Learn to Juggle,” Oct. 11, whenever she wakes up
- Henri Le Chat Noir, “A Feather Toy? Are You Insane?!” Oct. 13, whenever he wakes up
- Lil Bub, “What? What’s Going On? What Are We Doing?” Oct. 14, whenever she wakes up
- Hamilton the Hipster Cat, “Sup, Man? You Got an Extra Sardine?” Oct.14, whenever he wakes up
I see no reason why this should not happen right away. We would fund $10 to a cat museum Kickstarter immediately. What kind of cat exhibits would your cat like to see? Let us know in the comments.
All photos via a real cat art show, last January’s “Cat Art Show | Los Angeles,” which we talked about here and here.
Top image Kunal Mehta / Shutterstock.com
